Random Stuff

I am not quite sure what mood I am in really, I suppose it depends on what I am thinking about. I guess if you want to summarize it up - its an analystic mood. I am WAY overthinking things right now, which is not good for some things and good for others. I have been quite fixated on why people mow for one lol I guess after you have spent yesterday sweating and letting yourself back in the house sore as heck, you wonder what started it all. What makes people think its necessary? I suppose there is some place I can google that will tell me exactly that, but so far I havent found it. It just gives me the history of the lawnmower or landscaping. I dont want to know how they were built, how they evolved......I want to know how we, as human beings, evolved into people who found it necessary to mow our lawns. Surely, once upon a time, we didn't right? Sometime in our past lives we didn't think it was necessary - and just (for lack of better description) lived WITH the land - like the American Indians. Or were we always the 'civilized' people who insisted on having perfectly manicured lawns? I seriously think there were better things for us to do, like weed our gardens, than to make sure our grass was not more than 1 inch high in our front yards.

But that is just one of the many things going thru my brain right now. The other is rather sobering. I would say its more life and death than cutting grass, but....I just read an excerpt from the 80s that held the caption 'Grass have feelings too' Interesting that people acknowledged that grass IS life even then. BUT I digress......back to what I was originally wanting to say =) Tonight, my older doxie blatantly has accidents right in front of us - 2 times. My husband thinks she is getting old and is confused, which has me terribly sad =/ In some sense, I suppose he is trying to prepare us for what will eventually come, but... my older doxie embodies the VERY being of who I am, I want to be, and who I was. She has been with me for 14 years now - longer than any dog I have had, and longer than I have known my husband, or even X husband. Her passing away will forever close the door of who I was and continue to be. She IS the 'kid' I don't have - and I love her more than anything =/

In fact, just typing this really hurts......so I will go on to other things. Like the past.....my husband and I brought up during dinner how we might not be moving if we had bought the house we rented before we bought our first place together. There was simplicity there - you were more 'isolated' from your neighbors, and I suppose everyone wonders what would have happened if they had stayed or done something different. Not that our life isnt great, but you wonder what a different sort of 'great' it could have been ya know?

Wow.....look at me ramble and overanalyze everything huh? lol

=)