Monday, February 27, 2012

Anger Management Issues

There comes a day when you realize you might have anger management issues. That day was today for me...

Since we decided to say a big 'F' you! (uhh, I mean, thanks for trying, but we don't like your service) to Time Warner Cable about a year ago, we do not have local TV stations. Therefore, since the first NASCAR race of the season was today, my husband required bar food (ie wifi, ie many local sports channels). And so henceforth we went to our local Tanners...

However, once there, things went downhill for me. It first started with me thinking I can spend my time trying to make my eReader work on my iPad. I tried to log in to the full website for eReader, only to find out that it kept redirecting me to back to the mobile site.

So I continue to hit my finger onto my keypad harder….and harder… and HARDEERRR…

Until I realize that maybe the eReader app I downloaded for my iPad might not work. So not to be deterred, I went to search Google again and found that there is no solution to my problem…

WHAT?? %%^&^*((&!!?? Don’t *^^%%&@#@##@#..... Uhhh… tell me that!!

So I googled some more and found out that maybe….*maybe*…. DropBox could help me out since that last post was in 2010….

I smile smugly at my husband as I download it. I say in an elated voice that I may have found a solution to my husband…

And then I try the downloaded version…

And realize I am not able to find anything out with my friggin iPad, cuz it’s considered a ‘mobile’ device…. *grrrrrr*

Anywhoooo! Husband takes a commercial break to go to the bathroom. I go to the bathroom to take a break. PERIOD.

I decide not to use the first stall cuz I figured everybody in a bar is gonna take the easy way out and use the first stall they find. So I go to the 3rd stall and find that someone didn’t flush. EWW. So I go to the 4th stall. UGGHHH….. same thing! So I go back to the first stall and try to shut the stall door.


And try…

And try again..

REALLY pissed off, I try to yank the stall door to me –yet, it still refused to close all the way. So what do I do? I get out of the stall and pull on the handle, and…

YANK THE F’N thing OFF!
   
Know what I was doing? Closing the wrong bathroom stall door for where I wanted to do, uh….my business…

So I went to the VERY end stall and did so – and laughed the whole time. Then I got done, washed my hands, and then tried to affix the stall doors handle back on as best as I could. Only I pulled the handle out of the stall door from its' friggin HINGES, so I was not ready with my handy dandy screw driver to fully rectify the stoopid mistake/accident I had caused…
   
Needless to say, I left the bathroom with tears in my eyes from crying/laughing so hard…

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Rum

Once upon a time a Kansas gal thought she was a rum snob.

Until she went to a liquor store in Florida anyway….

She spent her day at a Florida hotel trying not to go postal on the kids who found the pool there a great place to scream at. She also had to endure the hotel entertainment that afternoon that made her send an email to her husband in the next room titled ‘Stabbity, stab, stab”. She was also recovering from a wine (yes, you read right) hangover from an IT banquet the night before.

But, anyway……

She went to a Florida liquor store with her husband to look for a specific kind of beer for a friend. OK, ok…. *maybe* the 158 rums advertised on the liquor store sign didn’t help to woo her in, but….

 She went in and picked out a bottle of rum. Her husband picked out two kinds of rum after not finding the beer they were initially after. They head to the liquor store checkout counter where the Cuban guy rings them up. And this is what she hears…

 “This is a good rum. And this too…”

 He stops on the rum she chose, and says “THIS, not so much….”