Friday, July 26, 2013

Prince Charming

I have got into the habit lately of watching a show about gals going to a bridal store in NYC to pick out their wedding dresses. Most episodes are fairly predictable, but yet, I still hit the ‘play next episode’ button. I think it is because it is something I can watch to keep myself occupied with, but can more easily tear myself away from the episode in case my husband & I suddenly need to go somewhere.

But yet, I AM a woman, and even though I am a fairly practical one at that, I still like to ooooo and awwwww over the dresses, see how some of the dresses look on people and get somewhat caught up in the romantic idea of getting married.

So when I was watching an episode in bed (without my headphones on I might add), and the gal starts sniffling and talking about how her guy is her ‘prince’, I start sniffling as well.

I then look over at my husband and ask, “So are YOU my PRINCE?”

My husband looks at me quietly, then responds in a deadpan manner, “”No. I am your pig. And you are the pig farmer.”

I bet you all can imagine how warm & fuzzy that made me feel lol

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Stoopid Gnat

Actually, the title is somewhat misleading. Yes, the gnat is stupid for bothering me, but I swear the gnats this summer have managed to take some steroids and vitamins to boost their ability to get away from humans before they get killed.

As I sit in my office this evening, I have swatted at a gnat about 10 times. And missed each time. I am typing and the gnat slowly flutters by my computer screen. I am not joking about slowly either, I swear if it was a human in the water, this gnat's speediness could be likened to a human lazily doing the breaststroke backwards. And yet, despite a brief hiccup in the lazy backward stroke it was taking, it still disappeared in the blink of an eye as I slapped my hands together in front of the computer screen. Since I did not see the gnat again for another couple of minutes, I thought I had already won the battle.

And then I saw it go lazily across the screen in the opposite way. And my hands slap together again with more gusto.......and I wait...

As I go through the process about 7 more times, each time trying to be quicker in my hands clapping together & therefore, by the end of the 9th time, my hands are pink and stinging from being clapped together so hard in an effort to kill the gnat.

After that, as I sat and stared at my stinging hands, I made the decision I was not going to care anymore. So what if I have a gnat fluttering across my screen? So what if I have an open drink it could possibly take a dip in and fly away leaving me disgusted at the what the gnat could have been doing in it? It is only a gnat. Heck, a gnat is an insect right? If it decides to take a dip and drown in my drink and I slurp it up unknowingly, then I will have won cuz I will have consumed extra protein for the day.

And as I thought that last bit, the gnat flew by right in front of my face and I slapped my hands together instinctively.

Stoopid gnat. I guess its bored. Leave me the f*ck alone lol