Saturday, September 10, 2011

Turtle Concrete

Sounds yummy huh? =) It was - well, most of it was anyway. The name does not do it justice actually - as it is full of fudge, caramel, candied walnuts and more unhealthy goodness that I will spare y'all. Suffice it to say, it was something I looked forward to eating - every single bite of it.

And suffice it to say, every single bite did not reach my mouth. There is a reason you should not try to eat these sorts of decadent desserts while traveling down the road at 65 plus miles an hour. Granted, I am not that coordinated, BUT...

When it comes to having fudge, caramel, candied walnuts amidst ice cream - err, sorry! technically, it was frozen custard (but both taste pretty much the same to me when laden with sinful ingredients such as fudge, etc.), I take consuming every bite very seriously. So as I drove out of town and got on the highway, I found it frustrating that I had one of the bites intended for my mouth hit my pant leg.

Another bite was more successful. Yet, the third bite was less so, as it hit the steering wheel of my jeep. I managed to hurriedly shove the spoonful of concrete into my mouth two more times before mishap happened again. This time, it splattered on my shirt, and as I said a few choice words I managed to sneak another successful bite of concrete in my mouth before the next hit the top of my shirt and sank in between my uh, err... woman parts on the upper portion of my body.

I dab quickly at the many spots made by the concrete and try to consume the rest in record time. Yet, even though I was fairly successful at doing so, the next spoonful of concrete hits my seatbelt. As I try to wipe it off, I smear it further down the upper portion of my seatbelt, leaving a sticky smear of 'stuff that should not be on your seatbelt' behind.

Anyway! There was not too much concrete left after this, but still a lot of sticky concrete residue to clean up. And a lot of explaining to my husband why my jeep is so dirty! lol

JK! =) Uhh, kinda...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Benefits of Exercise?

I am not sure I can exercise anymore. I am not sure it's beneficial for me and/or others around me. I must be doing something right, as I have managed to inspire my husband to exercise as well - AND get us both a gym membership.

Yet, it never does feel quite 'right'. I walk around the indoor track at the gym with my husband and manage to say 'owwww', 'uggh' or some other frustrated and pessimistic word about every lap. I get on the stair stepper and try to work out 20 - 25 minutes, which seem like an eternity cuz my legs are on fire, my arms ache, and my breathing sounds so horrid that little old ladies working out next to me sound 10 times better.

I have tried swimming laps at the gym, but have realized I really don't know how to swim. I have people in other lanes swimming from one end to the other in record time. And me? I stand in the water, start trying to do the breast stroke and somehow move downward into the 4 feet of water. I manage to end up doing the doggie paddle, which looks extremely pathetic in a pool of expert swimmers. I am even unable to doggie paddle even a quarter of the way, and end up getting embarrassed at my apparent lack of swimming ability that I drag my dripping self out of the water and scurry into the restroom/shower area before anyone can really get a good idea of who that untalented swimmer was.

And in an effort to make myself feel better tonight, I stuck with a workout DVD I am familiar with. Yet, I decided I was able to move on to Disc #2 since I had done Disc #1 for a number of weeks and have managed to somewhat master it.

Well..... Disc #2 was put into the DVD player and I stood there ready. BUT not ready for Mr Tony who decided to crank things up to twice the speed. Initially, I did not think it was going to be bad, and managed to exercise and look at Mr Tony in his short sky blue shorts and think he looked pretty silly wearing them. As each minute went on, the workout was more intense and I had no time to make fun of him in his pretty blue shorts. Altho, I was getting irritable with each passing minute....

So here I am - most of my body is already sore, and I am not sure if I will get out of bed tomorrow. In fact, sleeping, taking lots of painkiller and alcohol sounds pretty much like heaven right now.

Yeah, yeah.... don't judge me .... you would do the same lol