Mr. Hedgehog

My pups have each found a new toy that they are in love with - Mr Hedgehog. Actually, there are *two* Mr. Hedgehogs in our house, both barely the size of a tennis ball and each a different shade of brown. However, one of the hedgehogs has apparently lost it's 'voice' (aka squeaker inside). In dog world, having a hedgehog without the ability to squeak it's distress at being slobbered and munched on is..... well... it is just not as fun.

Therefore, the quieter lighter colored one has been kinda forgotten about and the pups have been sharing the other. Although, since they are sharing one Mr. Hedgehog, it means that when one tires of it, the other picks it up. And the cycle repeats.....and repeats....and...

Well, y'all get the point =)

So when Mr. Hedgehog made his appearance the other night when I was trying to watch a show, it was expected. I was even ready for the irritation I felt about not hearing my show over the squeaks of Mr. Hedgehog. However, I was not ready for the response I got out of my oldest pup when I glared at her.

My pup looked at me. Blinked. And ever so slightly applied pressure to Mr. Hedgehog for a slllooooowww squeak.

And stopped. And looked at me as I snorted with laughter =)

210 Nature Sounds

Yesterday was a stressful day. Heck, it's been a stressful month. I have been on the road for work for a good part of it, and then when I am finally home, we have two epic snowstorms. And while in recovery/survival mode from the aforesaid snowstorms, I have tried getting caught up on other work while my body slowly falls apart on me.

Yeah, well...... moving on...

The point being that I needed to relax. I can be stressed out, ready for an early bedtime one minute and then once in bed, I am wide awake. So my initial remedy for it was to start listening to some flute music I had downloaded on my iPad once upon a time. However, after several days of it, I was getting to the point where I woke up and was like 'really? STILL playing that happy nonstressful flute music? gimme a break?? just quit.... QUIT....Seriously? play *something* else!".

Therefore, when I realized I was talking to my iPad like it has a choice of what it's told to play, I figured maybe I should start looking at some other CDs. So yesterday night, I downloaded another CD onto my iPad titled "210 Nature Sounds". I thought I had made an excellent choice - not only because the bits and pieces I previewed sounded good - but the ability to buy 210 songs for $9.99? Well, that's just a screaming deal if you ask me...

We will gloss over how long those songs took to download because the internet decided it had a stressful day as well and had turned in for the night. We will just go to the point where I realized I had downloaded enough of the songs to call it a night myself.

I turn on the CD and started with the sound of the ocean, the peaceful crash of the waves, a few birds randomly cheep quietly here and there, and then a minute into the song a seagull enters the picture. Yet, this is not like any seagull I have ever heard. I personally think this seagull saw a lady seagull on the other side of the beach and was trying to sound seductive. Which, and I hope no one likes seductive sounding seagulls, but that was just friggin disturbing.

Altho, in a sick & sad twisted way, it did help me sleep as this is what happened:

*snorts*

*mouth hangs open*

*exclaim WTF?! out loud*

*laughs hyserically until tears comes to the eyes*

*falls asleep because of the unexpected outburst of hysteria right before bed*

Crazy People

This afternoon I watched a movie called 'Crazy People'. It was a fairly old movie starring Darryl Hannah and Dudley Moore - the latter (the person he plays, not Dudley himself  - that I know of anyway =)) checks into a mental institution. At first he hates being there, but then gets close with several of the people there. One of which is a guy who constantly says 'HELLO". Admittedly, this was kinda annoying at first, then cute, then kinda catchy. So by the time the show ended with its 'HELLO' song, I was practically singing along (as my husband looked at me like *I* was crazy).

Promptly after, the what do you want to eat? I dunno, what do *YOU* want to eat? I dunno, where do you wanna go? started. After 10 minutes of discussion, 10 more minutes in a car to the nearby restaurant and another 30 minutes at the restaurant, we were headed to Walgreens for some much needed supplies for myself.

Husband takes off to see if they have a door stopper for my bathroom door that always closes on its own cuz our house has settled funky, and I was off to get some meds and kleenex. I am still wandering aimlessly about 5 minutes later when he shows me the felted pads he picked up in lieu of a door stopper. I look at them rather dubiously, but decide maybe I wasn't in the best shape to judge. I finally find my meds and then announce to my husband:

"I stuuul need to, uhh, ffuuuiiind kleenex'.

Kleenex was found, stuff was bought, and my stomach was already gurgling over dinner. And yeah, not the happy kinda gurgle, more like:

"REALLY? you *had* to eat this crap??" kinda gurgle.

Needless to say, we made it home in a little less than 10 minutes since my husband sensed (well, I kinda tipped him off by warning him I needed a bathroom) that I needed to get home ASAP.

I hurriedly enter the house and go up the stairs to our bedroom, which has a bathroom off of it, knowing I needed some privacy. No sooner was I in there and, uh, ready to take care of business then I hear the bedroom door open and then close, and then:

"Hello"

"HELLO"

"Hello???"

To which I pitifully reply from the bathroom: "GOOOO AWAYYYYYYY"

The Mysterious Card

Usually I find if a place I spend money at goes the extra mile to contact me afterwards to be fairly impressive. Usually. Sometimes it can be like really? I went there once, feel confident that you didn't suck that much and I will be back. But that's only sometimes...

So when I went to the mailbox today and found a card from a restaurant we ate at in Phoenix when we were there for work related purposes, I automatically was fairly impressed they went that extra mile. That is, until I came into the house and started opening the mail.

First of all, this card's envelope is addressed to my husband - which is fine, since he used the company card to pay for the dinner and I am sure that's where the waitress got his name from. Even after opening the card and looking at the note inside I was initially impressed. Then I reread it again. I then I got to thinking a bit...

First of all, this card is addressed to 'Scott and Wife' inside. Wait...What?? I am *just* the wife?? I have no name?

Calm down Lisa, I told myself. There is probably no way she could have known your name. But d*mnit! I have a NAME ya know?

Anyway! I moved on from that and started wondering how in the heck they got our home address. As I pointed out before, we used a company card. Hence, there is a company address attached to that card. Sooo....

I am musing over this information and then my husband starts mulling it over himself. As he was speaking out loud about how odd this was, I firmly state:

"Well, I dunno either. Your WIFE would like to know too"

He snorts and replies, "Seriously, I wonder how they got our address. I am confused."

I answer, "I dunno either. Your WIFE would like to know too"

He snorts and calls me crazy...

But seriously!? WTF? I am the WIFE! I have a right to know how my husband made such an impression that they went out of their way to find our home address to mail us the card.

In other news tho, we did receive a card from Jared's (jewerly store) today, too. Can't help but think they need to amend their slogan:

"He went to Jared's!"

to

"He really should go to Jared's!!!"

The Big Apple

Where to begin?

Well, I guess I should explain that the Big Apple is a restaurant we went to tonight. I should also warn y'all that you may want to stay away from the Big Apple. Well, you are free to try it if you like:

1) To be able to smell the strong smell of must and carry that smell with you on your clothes after you leave the restaurant.

2) To be directed to the extremely taped up seat by a waitress with a gun holster and a toy gun in aforesaid holster.

3) To sit down at the table to eat to see a picture of a steer on the table with a dark spot in the middle of its head that looks like a bullseye.

4) To be able to truly see what kind of restaurants they target for those restaurant makeover shows.

5) To eat meatloaf that is about 10% meat and 90% of something else you afraid to ask. Or know what that 90% was when your stomach starts churning a few minutes into the meal.

6) To eat the toughest chicken wings. EVER.

7) To realize that the old guy's cologne that he coated himself in smells better than the musty smell of the restaurant as you leave the restaurant.

8) To be able to say you lived to blog about this.

Tired of Pretending

Generally, I keep things fairly light hearted on here. Generally speaking, I feel that way. But lately? Not so much…

I am tired of being the person who remains quiet and let’s others voice their opinions about how horrible certain kinds of people are. I am tired of being the person who doesn’t say anything when those people outright insult me in the process. I am tired of so many people in this country making generalizations about groups of people. I am tired of being the person that always tries to be open-minded when around closed minded people. I am tired of people always taking from me and never giving back. I am tired of those people feeling like they have a right to do so.

In a nutshell……..I am tired of pretending. Why do I not get the respect I show other people? Why do other people look at my life and assume I have no problems? Why do people not care about my opinions and feel like it’s their duty to tell me how wrong I am? Why do I continue to let them?

Without being political, this last election has taught me something. I will *not* take this kind of attitude from people anymore. I will *not* care what people think of me anymore. I will *not* bother to explain to people how I feel when they quite obviously do *not* care how *I* feel. I will *not* reach out to people who think I am the enemy when they do not even know me and/or care to know the real me. I will *not* tolerate people saying it’s impossible to do this or that – OR saying that I do not understand.

I do not owe everyone a reason for things I do and/or have done. I DO deserve respect. From now on, I will not tolerate people who will not or are apparently incapable of showing respect. From now on, I will not pretend….

Do You Think I Am Pretty?

There are times a guy needs keep his mouth shut if he is unable to respond the way a gal wants him to. I sound harsh you say? Well, let me tell you a short story…

Husband and wife make their annual trip to the Harley Rally in Sturgis, SD. Husband is in 7^th heaven, despite having to rent a bike because his is in the shop. The wife tolerates it, and is not surprised that on the way back she gets a bad sunburn on her arm. Yet, besides this fact, the trip is fairly uneventful.

Husband and wife drop off the rental bike and are on their way back home about 4 days later. About 2 days after this, the wife’s arm starts to peel, exposing pinkish skin against the dark tan she got on her arm. She fusses over it, and it continues to get worse…

Husband and wife stop at a hotel for the night and watch a ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode as they are about to call it a night. OK….ok….the wife tuned in initially to this show…BUT the husband *was* watching as the part came on where Vivian – the wife – goes:

o    Vivian: Do you think I'm pretty?

o    Phillip (husband) : Woman look in that mirror and tell me what you see.

o    Vivian: I don't know.

o    Phillip: Well let me tell you. I see every great thing a man could want in a woman. Eyes so dark and deep a man could get lost in them. Skin the color of mahogany, soft as satin. Body fit for a goddess. Look how beautiful you are. Look how beautiful you are.

And the wife sighs and looks at her husband and pointedly says:

“You should take notes”

And the husband replies:

“Your skin is like bark…. On a tree….all flakey and ….”

Wife smacks him.