Saturday, April 30, 2011

In Honor of William and Kate

Since William and Kate just got married yesterday, I am sure they got lots of cards (probably with more money in them than I can possibly fathom). And since I have been obsessing about my, uhh... wrong choice of birthday card the other day, I figured I should blog about it =)

I made the typical run to the grocery store the other day and was not shocked to find out that I was just as aggravated about the amount of people there, the ability of those people to all get in my way, the sad way that they all dress because I apparently shop during the hours when ‘what not to wear' is filming, and more.

So I glared. I sighed. I glared and sighed some more. I tried to hurriedly push my cart through aisles before I was pinned in and was not able to tell someone to get the F out of my way, or the person was too old to even hear I said anything.

But I digress.... I should not be a hater lol

Anyway! Last stop was in the card aisle because my husband's daughter just had a birthday and we were going to get together with her for supper soon. Despite it being a few days away, I was going to be proactive and get a couple of birthday cards - that way, my husband can decide which one he likes better to give her. I get a Hoops & Yoyo musical card (cuz really, you usually can't go wrong there) and another card and head home.

My husband gets home a bit later and I show him the cards to pick from. I open the (non)musical card, pretty impressed with my choice until.....

Well, I will post the front and the inside of the card and let y'all figure it out =)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

My Garmin

Yep, y'all - I am one lucky gal. I have a Garmin Forerunner 350 that my husband bought me because I pestered him about wanting a pedometer for quite some time. Only thing is, I have only used it when I go walking, as I have not been able to understand what setting I need to use for any other workout (like an exercise DVD). It came with a belt-like thing that I immediately guffawed at, thinking 'what the heck do I need to put it around my waist for?'

So days turn into a month, and then several months - and I am still using it this way. I mentioned it a couple of times on the fitness website that I signed up for and got no response. I then start to think that most people do not have this particular pedometer, and that there is a reason they do not have it. Yet, I continue to use it....

Until one day I update my fitness site and have it tweeted to my Twitter account about my frustrations with my Garmin not tracking my calories and such when I do other activities. One of the gals I 'tweet' to immediately responds that I should ask so and so about it. YAY! I think - or, uh - exclaim inwardly lol Heck, why not? Can't hurt right? All my Garmin problems are now gonna be solved.

So I privately message the person about my Garmin woes, to which the person naturally asks which device I have and informs me about the need for a heart rate monitor.

"Ohh??" I reply, "Is that something seperate I have to buy?"

"Nope" person responds, "Most Garmins should have a wireless one."

"Ohhhhh"" I reply, "Is it part of the watch then?"

"Nope" person responds, "There should have been a black plastic strap that came with it. Send me your model number, tho."

"Ohhhhhhhh" I reply. "Yeah, I think there was!! My model number is #305."

"That is what I have." person responds. "There should be an elastic band with a hard rectangle in the middle that says Garmin that's the heart rate monitor."

This is where I do not reply. This is where I start thinking of that belt I dismissed quite early on in my relationship with Mr. Garmin. I open the drawer I stuck it in - I open the manual - I look in manual and find out how to connect that 'belt' with my Garmin watch in order to track your heart beat.


Seriously? Yeah, ok - I will try it. I bet it isnt that easy. I put 'belt' on. I turn on watch. I then observe watch sync immediately to belt and start tracking my heartbeats.


I admit my stupidity to the person, and have the person respond "Feel free to read our exciting suspense filled adventure book about 'Manual' that we sent along :-)."

To which I assured the person that would be my reading assignment later. 

So now I need to figure out the right setting to track calories with the monitor. I do not think it was set right, cuz it said I burned only 20 calories in my workout after that. IF thats truly the case, I will have to stomp on my Garmin and say "F" you exercise! Altho, I am sure there is probably some other gadget I probably shoved in the drawer I thought I did not need that does the trick.

Wow - getting physically fit is emotionally exhausting lol

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Short Story

Dang - what is wrong with me? I haven't made the effort to blog lately - and it isn't like there hasn't been things to blog about. But, alas, I am getting lazy I suppose =)

To break myself back into the bloggin world, I will start with a short story of a husband and wife:

Husband and wife go to bed. Wife stares at her husband in an attempt to get her husband to notice her. Husband looks up from iPad, gets a tad grumpy and reverts his attention back to his iPad. Wife lets 5 minutes go by and she then decides to childishly poke his arm in an effort to get his attention again. Husband glares, sighs, and then puts his iPad away and lays over to go to bed.

Hmmph! Wife thinks... fine! I will do so too....

She gets up, turns off lights, gets in bed and stares at the ceiling. After just a couple minutes of this, she decides she is unable to stand the silence and starts singing:

"If you want myyyy boddddyyy, and you thinkkk I am sexxyyy, come on babbbyyy letttt me knoooowwww.."

And stops at that one line.

And listens.

And swears it is so quiet that she can hear the crickets 3 blocks down chirping.

And gets pissed - pokes husband again as he laughs, and rolls over to call it a night.

The end =)