Why Me????

I have decided that birds suck.

Yes, you read right. 'Lil ole me, the animal lover, said that birds s-u-c-k.

I have spent at least an hour chasing a sparrow around in the garage. At first, I was like:

"Awww, hi sweetie! How didya get in here? You poor thing!"

But needless to say, the initial 'awww' did not last long. I opened ALL three garage doors. I whistled and made noise outside, while I swear I saw our neighbors peeking out their windows with their phones to their head calling the cops. I banged away with the handle of a broom at things in the garage trying to scare it outside. It flew away from me on at least 2 occasions and hit itself in the head flying away, and then would sit on top of one of the cars. I grabbed a Folgers can and was hoping it would sit there dazed long enuf for me to trap it. But noooo..... this bird is friggin invincible! It flys away and tweets at me in disgust - like *I* had no right to be there.

Amazingly enuf, it finally flys into a car that is stripped out (husband wants it for a track car). It flys back to the hatch area into one of the rear fender areas. I think, what the heck! and in I go with my Folgers can to get the bird. I think I have it trapped and it flys out at me and I freak and back out. It then flys into the OTHER FRIGGIN fender area. I go back after it and trap it with my Folgers can. I hold it down with a piece of paper I found in the car, start backing out of the car, and....

THE CAN FALLS OUT OF MY HANDS

Yes, you read those capital letters right! At the same time it falls out of hands, it rolls underneath my jeep and I twist my arm and feel it 'pop'.

And yes, I said a multitude of cuss words at this point. Not only did I loose the friggin bird again, but my darn arm/shoulder hurts bad.

Not to let this get the best of me, I run to the other side of the jeep where the can rolled. I look under and see the bird glued to the bottom of it still. I grab the broom handle again, reach under the jeep, push the broom handle on the bird to make it stay put, yanked the can out and started running outside. I then deposit him as far away as possible and run back to the garage and close all three doors.

What really pisses me off is that I finally get inside the house, sit down at my desk in the office, and hear the rain hit.

Awwww! The friggin GUILT!! Visions of a brain damaged, rain soaked bird now fill my head *angry sigh*

On the positive side of things, I think it already quit lol