A Plan

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, a husband and wife arrive home. The wife decides to get her husband's attention by remaining in the vehicle – since they had previously disagreed on a particular subject matter. Despite her husband staring intently through the window at her, and her husband's audible sigh and obvious roll of the eyes, she stays in the vehicle determined to get her husband's attention. However, husband decides that the need to use the bathroom facilities indoors outweighs figuring out what is going on with his wife - and he heads indoors.

Wife thinks that she will stay put. She has a point to make with her husband and will not be deterred in doing so. However, she soon realizes how foolish this is when 5 minutes go by and she is still sitting in the vehicle with its windows rolled up and the sun blazing hot outside - making the temperature at least in the upper 90s.

Wife begins to rethink her strategy. She wants to do something that will impact her husband and make her happy at the same time. As the sun continues to heat up the inside of the vehicle, her sun-baked brain suddenly decides that she must scare her husband.

With that decided, she exits the vehicle and walks towards the garage door that leads into the house. She thinks to herself that it will be any time now that he will exit said door and come to find her. She will then scare him by being right by the door by screaming as loud as she could. She sits and waits, amazed at what a genius plan she has concocted.

Minutes tick by and her husband does not exit the door. In fact, she does not hear much at all coming from inside the house as she presses her ear to the door. Not to mention, she soon finds out that standing in the garage in the heat is not much better than sitting in an enclosed vehicle. Yet, she is still determined to bring her plan to fruition, so she carefully begins to creep around the side of the house and opens the fence door and proceeds to shut it as quietly as possible. It CLANKS shut and she freezes. She waits, and then creeps to the back sliding door/deck area in order to sneak inside the house undetected.

She slowly places her foot on the first deck steps and the two dogs inside start barking wildly. She races up to the sliding door and glares at the dogs, with her finger to her lips and a slight ‘shhh’ coming out her mouth. Whether the dogs realize she is pissed, whether they thought it was a game, or whether they were faintly amused, the wife could not tell. All she knew is that she was relieved that they immediately hushed…

She opens the door and is inside the kitchen with the dogs, who began pummeling her with excited greetings. She pats them on their heads and soon figures out her husband is in the upstairs bathroom. Therefore, she creeps slowly upstairs, stopping every so often when the stairs make a ‘popping’ noise. She stealthily tiptoes down the hall to the bathroom door and decides that waiting outside the bathroom has been done before, and so she will go hide in her office while she waits to scare her husband.

Almost as soon as she gets there, she hears the toilet flush and realizes she will be seen if she does not find somewhere to hide. In the instant that her husband steps out of the bathroom, she steps into her closet and stands on her sewing machine chair with the doors still slightly ajar to block any immediate sighting of her if her husband decided to peek into her office looking for her.

“Lisssaaaa…….”

“LISAAAA…”

The wife tries to contain a giggle as she still stands in her closet. She hears a door close, and footsteps and she decides the coast is clear to sneak back down the hallway to their bedroom and hide there instead to scare him. She starts down the hallway…..

The floor makes its ‘popping’ noise again and she stops. And waits….

She starts again, and she soon hears another popping sound. She realizes it’s her knees that are now popping and starts getting grumpy at herself for being so loud. However, not to be deterred, she moves again. Two more steps, and her stomach gurgles loudly.

Wife sighs and wonders to herself if she should just give up, but decides against it and presses on. Two more steps, and…

SOMEONE utters her name! The terrified wife lets out a scream that could be heard several blocks away in their peaceful suburban neighborhood.

She then sees her husband in the bedroom. On the bed.

Laughing.

The End.