A Trip to Home Depot

Once upon a time at a Home Depot, a husband and wife head out to look at hardwood to redo their living room floor with. They stop at a local Mexican restaurant to eat a decent supper, despite how abnormally low the booths were that they had to sit in. They ignored the slow-ish service and the fact that their pants were cutting into their tummys cuz of the odd angle they were sitting and finished their supper and headed out to the car to go to Home Depot to look at the hardwoods.

Once there, they spend many minutes going back and forth between several different kinds of hardwoods in order to decide which one they liked the best. For some reason, Home Depot decides to seperate their choice of hardwoods to buy into two different sections of the store, so husband and wife get a workout making the treks back and forth.

Finally a decision was made and husband and wife were standing at the checkout counter waiting to sign their life away in order to get hardwood put in their house. The checkout gal had to go....err....checkout something....and left husband and wife at the counter waiting. This provided the wife with an opportunity to lean against the counter, stretch out her back that was cramping up from standing so long and take a good look at her husband.

The first thing she notices is that he has decided to start working on a 'soul' patch on his face. Wife comments on this new look, to which he replied:

"Well, I am surprised you would notice that and not my sideburns."

Wife takes another good look and starts laughing at the groovy sideburns her husband now has. These are not normal sideburns, these are sideburns that you would find on someone that is badly wanting to look like a redneck. They start from the ear area and go all the way down to his neck - kinda getting slightly wider as they get further down the neck.

And now the wife can not notice anything else BUT these friggin sideburns that her husband worked so hard on. She now spends her days planning ways to get him to either shave it off or find ways she can shave it off for him. She no longer looks at her husbands beautiful blue eyes when she looks at his face, but instead just sees a scrabbly mass of brownish sideburns that seem to overwhelm his face more every time she looks at him.

She has addressed this issue with her husband, only to have him retort:

"I have just three words for you. FRENCH SILK PIE."